I TOLD YOU SO !!!!

A very common statement heard by almost everyone in this world. A statement that gives a know it all attitude to the giver and irritation to the one at the receiving end. This mostly happens when we either ignore or miss out on the advices given by our closed ones. I do also come in the same category. To tell you my father kept on asking me to mend my ways and get disciplined in your life, but I like an idiot never used to listen to him and now when the circumstances are asking me to do the same he says “I hate to say it that I told you so but I told you so”. From getting serious in my studies to doing some exercise to keep my weight in check, there had been countless no. of times that my dad has proved that “ He Told Me So”. Most of these things happen because we In ourselves think most of the time that we are the smartest and know what we are doing thus ignoring the most important people who give advices to us through the experiences they had in their lives.

Not only is this in the family but also among friends some of us are so self centered that they will never pay heed to what their friends are saying. The most common thought that comes to the person at the receiving end is ”Who the hell asked him or her for their advice in the first place”. But in this commotion we forget the one important thing that they are those who love and care for us and not your enemies.

No matter you like or don’t like them giving advices to you but they will always do so because you are not a person who is stranger or not in any relation to them, but you are the one whom they love and care for a lot. And no matter what you think it’s a part of their responsibility to help you see the right way and guide you in a way that’s in the best interest of yours.

All in all if you don’t want to hear “ I told you so” please listen to what people say to you especially those who are close to you like your family and friends because not matter what you think it will always be in the best interest of yours.!!!

Confusions and Decisions!!

Hah how long has it been since the last time I wrote a blog??

Don’t even remember seems like years. Don’t know what has happened with me in last 1 and a half years it seems as if my whole world has changed. And for all of you who are reading this I think you should be ready with lots of patience because no matter how much I try to keep this blog of my concise, this is rather going to be one of the big ones so sorry in advance!!

It is now been 10 days that I have come back from Delhi after leaving my job at HDFC and yes am home. Today I don’t know why but I am thinking twice as much as I used to when I was back in Delhi. I left my job for a purpose. The top most to be to loose my weight ( for those of you who think it’s a joke pleeeaseee its not) and to go for studies. But something is happening inside me and I am confused, I don’t know what exactly it is but I can’t seem to concentrate anywhere. My best friend motivated me to keep fighting for what I want no matter how much you get down. But today my mind is all messed up I don’t know what to do. My mom’s here and one of my reasons to come back home was to spend some quality time with my family be happy and have a little fun, but as the days are passing it is becoming more and more difficult for me. Not because that I am unable to stay back anymore but because the tension atmosphere from which I wanted to get away from but at home that same atmosphere is present. I understand that my parents are worried about my career and my future and no matter how hard I try to get them off the topic they will bring it up always. Dad will call and will ask “What have you done productive today? “ and than answering him is the most difficult part. Mom will keep on asking the same questions like “Do you actually want to study? For I cannot see you serious about it” I know thay are not wrong and they mean well but why cant they understand that all I need id some time to alear my head and all their questioning as to “What are you planning to do next”, “ when will you start getting serious about your life” is making it worse. When I came I had a fixed plan that I had a fixed plan that for few days I will just give time to calm myself let everything go from inside me and then start a fresh. But the way things are happening it’s just getting worse.

Today i had a bit of an argument with my mother and I realized that for my parents they are not ready to accept that I am a 25 year old guy now and not a 12 year old kid. It’s been 8 years that I have stayed away from family and I am used to living my life freely without any questions asked or any arguments. Gone are the times when I will ask my mom to go out and play or go out for outings or ask for permissions to do anything. I have my own life which is governed by my own self. And I don’t mean this in any wrong way its just that I am a man now and not a child. Now I can take my decisions on my own, think about what’s wrong or right in my own way. Now I need my parents to give me advice and to whom I can go and consult with.

The experience I had in my last 1 and a half year has made me learn a lot. I know I have been through so many ups and downs now in this time that I know now what I have to do. I have made mistakes in this time, taken wrong decisions even lost the girl I loved a lot. But no matter what these are all the things which have made me stronger day by day. Now I have come back to mend the mistakes, to get my life back on the right track where my life is governed by what I do and what I want and not what people or circumstances want me to do. It’s a saying that it does not matter what your past was or what your future will be what matters is how you make your present!!

I miss those days!!

I remember some days back I was going by Punjab mail to Bombay when I saw a mother and son playing cards in the train. The boy’s mother was trying to teach him how to play “Patte pe Patta” and “Rummy”. It was so amusing to watch both of them play, the boy trying to win anyhow and his mother playing childishly with him. It just made me remember those old days and the coincidence was even my mother taught me how to play both of these games when I was a kid in train. Seeing those two I could just imagine me sitting with my mom and playing cards with her. Laughing to my full extent when I win the pile of cards, feeling sad when I was loosing all those lovely feelings all of them came back for once I just wanted to bring those memories back. I remember when my dad used to come home and we all used to play carom board and than my sister used to cheat we used to have a fight, dad laughing at the scene, mom getting angry. God we were so innocent at that time. We all used to come after swimming mom used to make cool cold coffees for us with ice cream on it ummmmmmm….. and than we all used to be watching cricket matches together. Those were some days or say my beautiful moments with my parents.

But now everything is so different, the whole environment has changed we have changed, I don’t remember when was the last time I had so much masti with my parents, when is the last time I had a hearty laugh with my family. Now a days we laugh but it is more of everything in a formal manner, we do masti but we should do it in a appropriate manner for now it’s the question of our reputation outside, we should not act childish because we are adults now, 22yrs old now working and earning so you should be disciplined have a attitude of decency in yourself. Nowadays you should see what you are doing for you should think what the world would say if they see a brother and a sister fighting if they see them running around in the streets trying to catch hold of each other no there should everything be disciplined. We don’t enjoy the way we used to, we don’t dance, we don’t listen to music as we used to before.

Why??? I ask this to myself sometimes I feel it has been my fault to a very large extent but then that should not make a person kill the child inside him or her. Today for people the enjoyment is watching tv in an air-conditioned room having a big house having a car to pick you and drop you. Having the luxury of a cook who makes your food having ten people around you to do your work is that what enjoyment is in now a days time??

I don’t know if growing up means loosing the child inside you forever getting serious in life as if just earning money and doing the job is a part of your life I don’t want that kind of life. What’s a job if it doesn’t allow you to spend time with your family, what is that life where your reputation comes in between having fun with your family, what is you if you cant even smile at the life you are leading and the family you have.

I just want those old days back if growing up and progressing in life means loosing all this I wish I just don’t grow up at all!!!!!!!!

Importance Of Friendship!!

Today this post of mine will contradict some of the posts i have written before. But what to do? There are some of the things that happened in my life which made me rethink about a lot of things. In this post i am going to tell you some things which will let you rethink about friendship. I who is very lucky to have some the best friends in my life am amazed at what i have seen in the past few months. I have seen tides (people) change as if they never were meant to come in that very direction. I makes me think how people prioritise their importance in this world. I have two sets of people in front of me one who will give you importance and will always hold that place for you and one who will give you importance and then suddenly take that away from you. In my friend circle I have seen example of both kinds of cases. It amazes me how your closest friends stop giving you any importance at all. How suddenly you have done nothing for them. How suddenly a single person in their life who came just months back takes over the priority above your years long friendship. How suddenly you can’t find time anymore for those whom once you called the closest of all. How those who promised to stand by your side the entire time, their promises are nothing more than meaningless words to you.

This entire realisation came to me when I met with an accident. Yes for those who don’t know i had an accident a few days back but with god’s grace I survived with just scars and bruises and nothing serious. But there when i was lying on the bed at the hospital i wanted my closest friend to be there besides me. I couldn’t talk for i had a injured lip but my ears were aching to hear her voice. Days passed i began to recover thanks to one of my childhood friends who helped me but in all that i waited for a single call from the one who was supposed to be the closest friend i ever had. But that call never came. I remember one day i had actually asked her if something happens to me will you come and see me and that time she said yes she would. Days after i got recovered i met her and she came to know i had met with an accident she screamed at me why didn’t i tell her about it. Maybe it was my fault i should have told her even though she never called herself i agree how else would she ahave come to know but i ask one thing what if i hadn’t survived that accident than who would have told her but i left it to me for i knew it was pointless. But in all this i realised that my importance in her life has gone down where my existence as a friend doesn’t matter to her.

Yes if some of you think i am wrong! Yes i agree i may be wrong because yes as i told you i have got friends from the other side too. There is another very close friend of mine. She is getting married in December and i am really happy for her but she on the other hand even being far away from me gave me calls everyday till i recovered. Even she has a special someone in her life. But she never allows any of her closest friends to feel as if their importance has gone down. Whenever she gets time she makes sure she calls me and give an update of what was going in her life. I learnt a lot from her as to what good friends are i am not saying that my closest friend isn’t good i would say she is the best. But this is for all the people who are about to get married or are seeing someone i would request you one thing. See after some time you are going to spend your entire life with that special someone but your friends will just be there in memories with you. You might get to see them once in a while but the bond that you shared before will cease to exist the same way as it used to. So it is my word of advice before you settle down in life be sure you have strengthened this bond enough so that it remains with you all your life!!!

Choices!!

Every day we are met with times when we have to make choices. Most important is the choice of making a decision between right and wrong. For some people choices may be good and for some it may be the most difficult thing in this world. For example how good it is when you get choices in a question paper when you have to select 5 questions out of 8. And the same way it becomes the other way round when you have to choose between a Ferrari and a Porsche. Choices today govern every part of your life you make a choice everyday whether to get up in the morning for exercise or not, whether to go to school or college or for your job every morning some people also would like if they have a choice of taking bath everyday or not.
Some people have to make a choice between their professional life and their family. Some make a choice between a love marriage and a arranged one. After 10th we take a choice between streams and then between your profession. But the most important thing is to take the right decision and choose what’s best for you.
My point of telling you all this is because like me many of you must have made choices in life where you compromise or take decisions that may or may not favor you. Even I had to make choices when it came to my personal life and my professional life. Sometimes you have to give up the thing that’s dearest to you for your and your family’s benefit. Someone once told me “ Deepaish you have a choice to think either from your heart or from your brain and sometimes you have to do what your brain says that follow your heart because your heart will always tell you to do which will always please you “. I never forget these words because in my last few months I have really made a lot of choices some of them really being the crucial ones where I have to even give up my feelings for the ones whom I love the most but I know now those choices were for the betterment of all. Today people even have a choice to help others as some of my friends had. But it hurts when someone who once made a choice to help you doesn’t give you a choice to help them back. I mean I know people have the choice to govern their own lives but who gave them the choice to decide on how others should govern their lives. I have seen people who make their own decisions on what others should do or not I mean if a person can’t accept help from others why does he or she does something for other so that the person is in debt for his or her entire life.
Our heart is the one who always weakens us when we have to take hard decisions which concern our future for example ask yourself what stops you from telling things to the ones who care for you its your heart that makes the choice for you for one may feel that he or she may let himself down in the eyes of other. But here one forgets that god gives you choice here to trust the other person. A girl will get the choice of finding out whether the boy she loves is right for her or not and vice versa, a person already working on a project has the choice to take another project or not, one even gets the choice to do what his heart wants or to do something which his family wants him to do. Compromises are important but to what extent that is for you to decide. I have seen people making compromises so that they can go to any extent to keep the ones the love happy but in all this they lose their own identity.
The bottom line is to make the right choice and think whether the choice you are making should be the one which should never make you repent back in life in the future.Remember right choice means a good decision and thus leading to a better future!!!!

Patience!!!

I wonder how people have the ability to get under your nerves and no matter how much you try to be patient and not to get angry you loose it. Today I am staying alone at my dad’s apartment trying to manage my own life as I feel everyone should do. Patience is the name of this game. There was a time when I couldn’t stand listening to my bro or my sister for they have a uncanny abiity to irritate you to your farthest extents. Their questions are such that you just tend to loose your patience no matter what happens. Yesterday when my dad left for ferozepur by brother started asking questions to me like “did Bua( My Mom) also came along” I answered him “ no, dad was on a official visit”. The very second the second question came up “ wasn’t Harman(my sister) there with FUFAJI??” I said I told you my dad was an official visit here why will Harman come here with him isn’t it but obvious. But no it did not stop here he just went on and on till the time I lost my patience I screamed at him. After that I felt sorry for him and realized wasn’t I the same during my childhood. I realize now how much patience did my dad had to keep when I was a child to answer my meaningless nonsense questions.

Today while I am staying alone I give myself time to look into my past to realize how silly I have been all the way down my life. I realize now and feel sorry for my friends who had to listen to my utter nonsense while I kept talking and they patiently used to listen to me. There were friends of mine who used to say “ Deepaish you are now irritating me?” but now looking at the past I realize that how childish I was. Just as a child does something or the other to gain attention from others I used to do the same thing whether its talking all crap to my friends or talking about something which isn’t even humour. Just like a child who is dependent on elders for support I always asked for support from everyone whether it was my friends or family. It was as if I was scared to say alone due to which I used to go to any extent to keep them around me.

Now I realize my mistakes and am changing so that I can be a different person now. I realize now that my priorities were in the wrong order. Being an “emotional fool “ as my friends you to say had made me very soft at heart due to which I had started accepting everything that happened around me as my own fault. But now I am learning to be patient wait for the right opportunity, setting up the right priorities. And I am quite successful in it at least for now now I just want to be a different person, the one who cannot be so soft at heart. I have to change for its good for me and people around me. This is the time when I can learn from the mistakes I have done In my life. It is time to change !!!!!!!

Relationships!!

Hi today I am writing this blog not to tell you guys something but to ask you some questions. Questions which are related to my life and may be in some ways related to some of your life too. I am a person who values a relationship a lot whether its with my parents or my friends or my brothers and sisiters. I believed that a relationship exists more due to the emotional bonding we have for each other but is it actually true? Does money, job and your status effect your relationship more than your feelings?

I was surprised when my elder cousin sister who is 1 year older to me but is younger in terms of studies as she is still in her final year said that now a days every relationship is based on money only. I was hurt when I heard my sister whom I really liked say that she ahd been having grudges against me. And for the reason that I was not able to give her anything during raksha-bandhan, that when I went to sims it was an achievement for me but I did not give her a party for that. She said that I was a miser and that I never wanted to spend a single penny on them. She said that everyone who is with me feels the same way. Is that true?? This is the question I have been asking myself.

When I was in school till the time I was able to treat my friends with pastries or patties everyone used to be friends with me. Were they friends because I used to spend money on them and here I used to think that they are my very good friends. At college I once said no to give a full contribution to a dinner where my room amte had called a lot of friends as I could not afford it is that the reason he did not speak to me afterwards.

Since the day I remember I have always tried to bring happiness on everyone’s face even at the cost of making a mockery out of me but I always failed to bring that happiness to my parents they used to be angry at me for sometimes they were ashamed at me for I was never good at studies but my sister was they used to say “ his son has topped in his class and what should I say that my son hass barely been able to pass”. Is it that my being an average student always let them down. I remember the only time when my family or my parents introduced me was when I into symbiosis for than they had something to say. Now when I want to complete my dream as a choreographer they say that it’s a waste of my life they want me to make a life in corporate field they call my interest a wastage of time and money.

My parents say that even your friends are going to leave you whom you are so proud of if you don’t do well in life. Are they?? I am confused at this because somehow I have a feeling that they are going away from me. When I was in college me and my friends used to chat at all time even at night than we parted it came to phone calls but at least they were everyday but now when I see it we don’t speak for weeks and sometimes for months. The same has happened with my closest friend once it was a time when she used to speak to me daily and I used to listen to her but now she doesn’t feel like telling me anything that she is going through. And now how helpless I am when I am not able to help them when they need me nor my friends nor my family.

Have they lost confidence on me?? Don’t they trust me anymore?? Is the thread that binds our relationship getting weaker day by day?? Is my sister true for calling me a selfless worthless git who cannot do anything for others . I don’t know what to do now I am confused and scared. Am I actually going to loose everything that I care for that I love the most!!