Patience!!!

I wonder how people have the ability to get under your nerves and no matter how much you try to be patient and not to get angry you loose it. Today I am staying alone at my dad’s apartment trying to manage my own life as I feel everyone should do. Patience is the name of this game. There was a time when I couldn’t stand listening to my bro or my sister for they have a uncanny abiity to irritate you to your farthest extents. Their questions are such that you just tend to loose your patience no matter what happens. Yesterday when my dad left for ferozepur by brother started asking questions to me like “did Bua( My Mom) also came along” I answered him “ no, dad was on a official visit”. The very second the second question came up “ wasn’t Harman(my sister) there with FUFAJI??” I said I told you my dad was an official visit here why will Harman come here with him isn’t it but obvious. But no it did not stop here he just went on and on till the time I lost my patience I screamed at him. After that I felt sorry for him and realized wasn’t I the same during my childhood. I realize now how much patience did my dad had to keep when I was a child to answer my meaningless nonsense questions.

Today while I am staying alone I give myself time to look into my past to realize how silly I have been all the way down my life. I realize now and feel sorry for my friends who had to listen to my utter nonsense while I kept talking and they patiently used to listen to me. There were friends of mine who used to say “ Deepaish you are now irritating me?” but now looking at the past I realize that how childish I was. Just as a child does something or the other to gain attention from others I used to do the same thing whether its talking all crap to my friends or talking about something which isn’t even humour. Just like a child who is dependent on elders for support I always asked for support from everyone whether it was my friends or family. It was as if I was scared to say alone due to which I used to go to any extent to keep them around me.

Now I realize my mistakes and am changing so that I can be a different person now. I realize now that my priorities were in the wrong order. Being an “emotional fool “ as my friends you to say had made me very soft at heart due to which I had started accepting everything that happened around me as my own fault. But now I am learning to be patient wait for the right opportunity, setting up the right priorities. And I am quite successful in it at least for now now I just want to be a different person, the one who cannot be so soft at heart. I have to change for its good for me and people around me. This is the time when I can learn from the mistakes I have done In my life. It is time to change !!!!!!!