Hi today I am writing this blog not to tell you guys something but to ask you some questions. Questions which are related to my life and may be in some ways related to some of your life too. I am a person who values a relationship a lot whether its with my parents or my friends or my brothers and sisiters. I believed that a relationship exists more due to the emotional bonding we have for each other but is it actually true? Does money, job and your status effect your relationship more than your feelings?
I was surprised when my elder cousin sister who is 1 year older to me but is younger in terms of studies as she is still in her final year said that now a days every relationship is based on money only. I was hurt when I heard my sister whom I really liked say that she ahd been having grudges against me. And for the reason that I was not able to give her anything during raksha-bandhan, that when I went to sims it was an achievement for me but I did not give her a party for that. She said that I was a miser and that I never wanted to spend a single penny on them. She said that everyone who is with me feels the same way. Is that true?? This is the question I have been asking myself.
When I was in school till the time I was able to treat my friends with pastries or patties everyone used to be friends with me. Were they friends because I used to spend money on them and here I used to think that they are my very good friends. At college I once said no to give a full contribution to a dinner where my room amte had called a lot of friends as I could not afford it is that the reason he did not speak to me afterwards.
Since the day I remember I have always tried to bring happiness on everyone’s face even at the cost of making a mockery out of me but I always failed to bring that happiness to my parents they used to be angry at me for sometimes they were ashamed at me for I was never good at studies but my sister was they used to say “ his son has topped in his class and what should I say that my son hass barely been able to pass”. Is it that my being an average student always let them down. I remember the only time when my family or my parents introduced me was when I into symbiosis for than they had something to say. Now when I want to complete my dream as a choreographer they say that it’s a waste of my life they want me to make a life in corporate field they call my interest a wastage of time and money.
My parents say that even your friends are going to leave you whom you are so proud of if you don’t do well in life. Are they?? I am confused at this because somehow I have a feeling that they are going away from me. When I was in college me and my friends used to chat at all time even at night than we parted it came to phone calls but at least they were everyday but now when I see it we don’t speak for weeks and sometimes for months. The same has happened with my closest friend once it was a time when she used to speak to me daily and I used to listen to her but now she doesn’t feel like telling me anything that she is going through. And now how helpless I am when I am not able to help them when they need me nor my friends nor my family.
Have they lost confidence on me?? Don’t they trust me anymore?? Is the thread that binds our relationship getting weaker day by day?? Is my sister true for calling me a selfless worthless git who cannot do anything for others . I don’t know what to do now I am confused and scared. Am I actually going to loose everything that I care for that I love the most!!
